As I'm writing this, I'm standing inside a commuter train, on my way home. Wait, something's missing: my kids and hubby.
Yes, today was my day out and about wihout the kiddos or hubby. Sebenarnya nggak berencana pergi juga, tapi ada book fair di Jakarta that was just too good to pass up. Dan sayangnya book fair seperti ini nggak child-friendly: huge crowds and small spaces. Jadilah dengan niat nyari buku murah buat anak2, saya berangkat sendiri naik kereta dan busway. Anak2 sama si Hubs dan pasukan Eyang.
This is my 1st time going to Jakarta alone without carrying Baby Bird in one arm and holding Little Bug's hand in the other. No diapers or a change of clothes in my waist pouch. No keeping an eye on where the kids are or telling them about what we are seeing along the way. Just me, myself, and I.
5 minutes later, i missed them. Small kiddos reminded me of them and I automatically looked up from the book I was reading everytime I heard a kid cry. Although I was enjoying my trip alone, but the feeling of enjoyment was different. I guess this is what people mean when they say that motherhood changes you forever. No experience will ever be complete without the "whole package", meskipun dilengkapi pula dengan segala "kerempongannya". But now I know, that is where the real happiness is.
So, I stand here on this train, full of gratitude. Thankful that I have a family and a home to come home to. Thankful that I was able to spend some time alone enjoying what I like to do while bringing benefit too (although, not a benefit for the wallet, huhuhu). And thankful that some time away from the kids and hubby can fill my cup-- coz you can't parent on an empty cup. Knowing how full your cup is and letting yourself to actually fill it when empty--now that is the important part!
So, for all you real moms out there: don't forget to take care of you. Because being a mom is a tough job but it's also a lifetime blessing to be thankful for.